Late Night Blog Posting

I wish I had a better defined topic.

I don't. It's almost 2 am, I'm sitting in front of my computer - basically stone sober (I say 'basically'  to give credence to the PBR pounder I had about 4 hours ago) - but I'm doing that thing where I'm so tired that my head is kind of weaving and occasionally my eyelids neglect to complete the blink. 

I really don't want to sleep. I don't know if I can. Last night I woke up so many times that all day I kept false remembering my dreams. You know that sleep where you never hit the rem cycle? Just keep waking up halfway and have half realistic dreams.. Alternate universes diverging from the week's mundane moments. 

I could probably sleep. I'll hit the bed delighted and swirl the blanket and myself around a few times for full fluffiness of coverage. I'm not ready to yet, though. Despite any and all the physical signs. 

The tips the fingers on my left hand actually ache. I bite my fingernails, and sometimes the skin around my fingernails. That's not why they are aching, but it's not helping. My stomach hurts a little bit. My ego hurts a bit. I don't know what specifically I'm concerned about, but I'm vaguely, overwhelmingly unsettled.  

I said some stupid things, I feel. I say some stupid things. I hope the accumulated sum is good.  

I wish I had a better defined topic. 

I wish, when I had pulled the sheets out of the dryer, that I had made the bed. 

I wish I could drink tea while laying down.  

I wish that I could be quieter. Or louder. 

I wish I had written a song tonight. 

Probably.. if I had a better defined topic

I am going to bed. Or the couch. And tomorrow will be lovely (if the creek don't rise and other such hedging statements).